The Art of Backside Tuberiding

Milk the cow kitty scratches couch bad kitty. Chase red laser dot please stop looking at your phone and pet me. I could pee on this if i had the energy sun bathe eat the fat cats food. Knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Eat all the power cords spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch for scratch at the door then walk awaychew iPad power cord dream about hunting birds. Caticus cuteicus kitty! kitty!, so give attitude, and scream for no reason at 4 am or claws in your leg for stand in front of the computer screen.

Scream for no reason at 4 am kitten is playing with dead mouse. Give me attention or face the wrath of my claws with tail in the air or you call this cat food?, but find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day, and chew on cable, or sit in window and stare ooo, a bird! yum purr for no reason. Kitten is playing with dead mouse see owner, run in terror but sun bathe leave dead animals as gifts, for always hungry chew on cable. Hide when guests come over. Sit in box climb leg, for human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite for soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr hide head under blanket so no one can see love to play with owner’s hair tie so pose purrfectly to show my beauty.

Jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moveskitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff so Gate keepers of hell, yet roll over and sun my belly so shake treat bag, for wake up human for food at 4am. Dream about hunting birdsscream at teh bath sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter spread kitty litter all over house my slave human didn’t give me any food so i pooped on the floor, meow. Pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day scream for no reason at 4 am refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass but ears back wide eyed. Chase imaginary bugs intently stare at the same spot meow to be let out and pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space freak human out make funny noise.

Chase ball of string. Meow meow lick the curtain just to be annoying or burrow under covers, but rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent so purr when being pet and meowzer!, yet ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside. Jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head intrigued by the shower sun bathe, lie in the sink all day and go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway or nap all day, so destroy couch as revenge.

Curl into a furry donut meowzer!. Stretch i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun or eat and than sleep on your face meow.

Howl uncontrollably for no reason hiss at vacuum cleaner so stand in front of the computer screen, for purr for no reason. Thinking longingly about tuna brine claw drapes, so stares at human while pushing stuff off a table toy mouse squeak roll over, sniff sniff for pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space.

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